Babymoon

The past two weeks have FLOWN by. And now that they have, I feel I must offer all my friends who are soon to be mothers a bit of unsolicited advice: Let's make the babymoon official! When you get married, you take a honeymoon, right? You plan to do only relaxing, fun activities for at least a week, sometimes two and no one begrudges you that time...they wouldn't DARE...so it's completely guilt-free. It's a traditional gesture of good-will offered by society to a new couple. And yet when we have a baby, each and every one of us feels differently about society's expectations of us and how soon we should be getting back to real life. It's undefined, or rather self-defined. When Corban was born, so many people told me "enjoy that baby...they grow up so fast!" But for some reason I still felt guilty sitting around holding him, which jaded what little sitting around I did manage to do. And I believed people when they said I could hold my baby too much. When Jadon was born, I stubbornly held him all I wanted and enjoyed our baby time so much more but my mind was half distracted with returning to work too quickly. This time around I decided there would be no guilt and there would be certainly be no work. Only "play" for 2 solid weeks. The first week was the BEST...just James and the boys pampering us girls. Lots of family snuggles. Seventh heaven! Naps. Movies. Favorite foods. Meals from friends. Photo ops. At the end of week 1 James had to go back to work so week 2 of babymoon was courtesy of my fantastic in-laws. They occupied the boys with fun activities, made meals and did housework while I relaxed. Jeuel and I went out for lunch with some friends. We listened to Christmas music. We napped some more. The first two weeks have been such a healthy time of easing in to life with three kids. As I begin week 3, I don't feel overwhelmed, I feel refreshed. I feel happy and blessed.

Bottom line: Take the two weeks and encourage every new mom you know to do the same! It's ONLY two weeks! In twenty years when you're sitting in the front pew watching that child get married, those two weeks so long ago will seem like one tiny, precious, fleeting moment and you'll be so glad you took it!!

Jeuel Darby Nelson

Choosing our baby girl's name was difficult. Our naming format is the problem...we make it sooo hard for ourselves: 1) It has to be found in the Bible, but it has to be obscure/unique. 2) It has to have a meaning that applies. 3) We have to LIKE it (sadly this is the hardest!)

SO, when looking through lists of Bible names, we came upon the name Jeuel (pronounced "jewel.") I read the meaning, "God takes away; God heaping up" and I thought WEIRD. Who in the world would name their child something so morbid, contradictory and confusing? I passed it up. But as I flipped through name after name, I started to lose track of which ones I had already ruled out and I came back to Jeuel because I loved the sound of it and the unusual spelling. The second time I read the meaning, I stopped for a moment and a thought occurred to me. It said, "GOD takes away." Of course God permits all things that happen to us whether good or bad, but there are certain things that are actually taken away specifically BY God and undeniably, any action taken by God in our lives would be for our own good. So God taking away would ALWAYS be a GOOD thing. I began to think about things that God was taking away from me right now. He was taking away my business (at least for a while) and the stress and guilt that had come along with working too much. He was taking away a huge burden and distraction in my life and using this baby girl to facilitate that. And although "taking away" and "heaping up" sounded distinctly contradictory, I realized that in the process of all that taking away, He was heaping up joy, comfort, peace, and a new enthusiasm for life and my family. All of a sudden, the name seemed PERFECT. I couldn't imagine naming my daughter anything else. I know that in the future her name will be a reminder of how God worked in our lives during this time, and who knows, maybe it will serve to remind us that when God takes away, it is always, ALWAYS a good thing.

Her middle name was not a tough choice. We've had this name chosen since before we had children at all. We use middle names to honor people who have been very influential in our lives. Of course, we will never have enough children to honor all of them, so we've had to do some doubling up in a "just in case" kind of way. Corban has two middle names after both of his grandfathers. Jadon is named after James (I insisted!). And Jeuel is named for the two saintly women who "rescued" me when I was about 16/17 and gave me a vision of the wife and mother I would strive to be someday: Darlene Sturm and Barbara Ager. Somehow, these two women managed to be absolutely crazy about me, love and adore me, in spite of all the mistakes I made. In their lives, I caught a glimpse of Jesus' love for us in spite of our sin and it filled me with such awe that my understanding of God's love expanded with it. They loved the rebel right out of me and gave, and gave, and gave even though I had nothing to give in return, truly not even the amount of affection they deserved.

When James and I got married, we were living paycheck to paycheck. Both of us working full time just barely paid our rent, utilities, school bills, and covered the never ending car repairs. Two weeks before the wedding, all I had been able to do was purchase my dress, the tux, the invitations, and reserve the church. We were counting on wedding gifts to fund the entire honeymoon. I had resigned myself to the fact that there would be no decorations, no reception, maybe not even flowers, but we'd at least walk out of there married and crazy in love! But Barb and Darlene pulled off a grand finale in those two weeks. Flowers, cake, lights, balloons, food, music, and all the details came together in 14 days out of seemingly nowhere. I was amazed to tears. My wedding wasn't anything like the stunningly gorgeous weddings I see and photograph now every weekend, but it was so beautiful to me.

As we tried to think of the best way to use the two names Darlene and Barbara, it occurred to me to try combining them. As I'm sure you can imagine, this discussion was LOL funny: "darbarb, barbdar, barlene, darbara..." but eventually one of us said "Darby" and I thought it made a really CUTE middle name and was a great combination of the two. And so it stuck. From that point on, we always knew our daughter's middle name would be Darby. We've just been waiting for the right moment to use it. :)

Corban has been trying to help us keep the name a surprise. I reminded him, "Don't forget, it's a secret." He said, "I know, Mom. Besides, I wouldn't tell anyone because they would laugh at it." I was amused and mock offended, "You think people will laugh at our baby's name?" He nodded, "I thought it was silly when you told me. But now I like it. It's pretty cute." :) I told him, "Well, I don't think anyone will laugh. They'll probably think we're a little strange, but once we tell them what her name means, I think everyone will think it's REALLY cool."

And he agreed.

And so I introduce to you, Jeuel Darby Nelson.

A Fond Farewell...

It is with seriously mixed emotions that I formally close this chapter of my life. It has been such a whirlwind to this point that it feels kind of sudden. But with so much to look forward to and so many blessings to look back on, I can't find any greater emotion than gratitude to express at this time. I feel so cliche saying the same types of things I hear so often from others in this business...things like, "I have the best, most beautiful clients in the world!" and "I couldn't have done it without you!" But the truth is, I truly feel these things to my very core. As I think through each person I've met or each relationship that has grown through photography, I feel exceptionally blessed. I couldn't feel more lucky if I had met a thousand Rock Stars! Each person I've photographed has inspired me so much! And trusted me so much. It's not always easy to let go and see yourself through someone else's eyes, and relax in the process. I feel as if each person who trusts me this much is giving me the greatest compliment I could ever recieve. So many of my clients are now friends...some of which I'm looking forward to spending more time with next year! I can't recall EVER having a "bad" client...we've worked through some tough circumstances, but the people I've been blessed to meet have been INCREDIBLE. This year in particular my jaw has dropped and my heart has swelled because of my clients, students, and colleagues...some have sent me baby gifts, many have gone out of their way to accomodate my pregnancy and closing business, students have been VERY patient with me while I worked through excessive delays, and EVERYONE has made very sure that I know that my presence in the industry will be missed. I feel as if the love I have for all of you is returning to me tenfold. So thank you!!

I want to take a moment to thank a few people who I've never publicly acknowledged in one place before. As I think back to how my interest in photography started and developed, there are people along the way who have marked a distinct change in me. I almost used the analogy of rungs on a ladder, but I don't want to give the impression that I stepped on them or left them behind as I went. :) I feel more like they were each a helium balloon and as I met each one, my journey became lighter and easier.

My parents -- for buying me my first camera and for keeping their promise to develop all the film I could buy, even when it went a bit farther than they expected!

Melita Quance -- for being my willing subject so many times and for making me jealous by taking photography classes in high school! :)

Jennifer Feeney -- for becoming my muse and inspiration in high school and for telling me for the first time that I remember, "You should do this professionally."

Mom and Dad Sturm and Mrs. Ager -- for taking my senior pictures and completely changing my perspective on photography.

Andy and Mickey Sommers -- for loaning me my very first SLR and enthusiastically being some of the first people in my portfolio.

My church family at FBC-- for being my first clients, my biggest fans, and my friends.

Erin Prichard -- for being one of my first photography friends, for 2nd shooting, for equipment sharing, information sharing, and learning together.

Eileen Dimino -- for being the first professional to tell me my work was really GOOD and giving me the confidence to forge ahead. And for introducing me to Josef Samuel.

Jasmine Star -- for teaching about branding in a way that allowed me to move past the confusion and proceed with confidence.

Josef Samuel -- for approaching me with the idea for The X/Stop Project, encouraging me to network more, and for providing a constant source of inspiration and friendly competition. :)

Jerry Ghionis -- for truly transforming the way I see light and the world around me and for teaching me the true keys to success.

Pamela Speck -- for being an oasis in a desert, a moment of clarity, and showing me that God is still working in my life.

Rebecca Lily -- for being my friend the longest, and my fastest learning student EVER, and for being a focused and upbeat 2nd shooter this past year in spite of having so many more important things on her mind.

Jennifer Budzinski -- for being an inspiration in business ownership and management, and for giving me a place to stretch my creativity and display it. For helping me LOOK like the artist I felt like.

Tim Cocanower -- for being truly reliable in an age when reliability is hard to come by. For driving in Chicago. :) For somehow always being one step ahead of me and never once complaining when things went wrong. (and thank you Stephanie for all the time you spent without him after work hours so he could help!!)

Bridget Dix -- for being my right arm, and sometimes my left. For sharing my excitement, for being my favorite model, for saving me from myself sometimes, for putting up with my oddities. For synchronizing your vision with mine and loving it almost as much as I have. You are fantastic and I am going to miss you SO much.

My husband, James Nelson -- for being my hottest model EVER, for always believing I could do anything I set my mind to, for sacrificing so much of yourself on behalf of my dreams, for working SO hard to support me in both my decision to start AND to stop shooting, for always being a reliable and patient father to our children even when you should have been too exhausted to do so, and for loving me in spite of all my craziness.

There are many others to thank, I could go on all day. It's always scary to thank some specifically for fear that I've overlooked someone very important unintentionally. But I think it would be even worse if I let the fear keep me from thanking these people who have influenced me so much. It is because of the generosity of these people that I have been inspired to help others, so if you have been influenced or helped by me in any way, I hope you'll thank these people as well.

Many have expressed concern at how permanent my decision sounds sometimes...am I coming back? When? I have to say, I honestly don't know the answer to either of those. I DO know two things. 1) I need to feel complete freedom from timeframe and obligation. I need a break with no expectations so that I can sort some things out in God's time, under no pressure. 2) If and when I do come back, I want to have the ability to move the business out of our home, for many reasons, one of which is that our family has filled it! There are many factors that will determine if and when this can happen. I have no idea what the personality of our third child will be, how our familiy dynamic will change, if home schooling will be the best option for my children long term. All of these factors can only be determined by time, so there is really no way I can predict a return date right now.

For those of you (some I have already spoken with) who are hoping and praying that I will return in time to shoot your 2012 wedding, I will decide sometime around June of 2011. Until then I will hold your date on my calendar, but I won't sign any contracts as I take my comittment to your wedding VERY seriously. Those interested may continue to inquire about availability as long as you understand that nothing is set in stone or guaranteed without a signed contract and downpayment!

I wish you the very best year (or more!) in my absence...take care and God bless!